That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
