are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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