I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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