I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
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