my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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