1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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