I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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