The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Are my feet made of real feet?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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