He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
