Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
