I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
