I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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