It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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