How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't deserve a penis
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
