I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize