It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize