did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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