drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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