if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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