Soap is not a condiment
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
