No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
