2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Randomize
