she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
