I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
