11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't put those talents on a resume
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
