can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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