I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize