Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
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I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
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You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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