I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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