Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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