in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
FUCK WHALES
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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