Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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