do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
