Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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