Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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