I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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