drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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