And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
