I don't think brook has ever known best
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
