if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize