I feel like abortions should bother me more
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
