My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i think i have herpe
just one?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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