she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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