i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
