Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
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I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
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He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize