Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
