I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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