I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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