holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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