Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
