I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
