you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize