This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
