I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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