Christians are straight up FREAKS
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
